Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
