Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
