I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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