I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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