Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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