I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
