In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
True but thats because hes a fetus.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
