STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
