lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
