I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
