Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
