Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
