That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
