I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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