Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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