I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
