How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There's even glitter on my cock...
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