I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
