I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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