i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
