This girl is more easily done than said...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
