Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
