i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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