My nipple is on Facebook.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
