somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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