He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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