so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
