everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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