The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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