i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
