I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize