Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
