so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
