Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
