I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
