Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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