the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
