apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
