Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
