We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
