You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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