my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize