Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
