Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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