Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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