i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize