Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize