never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
