Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
