he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
