I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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