so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
