hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
