can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
