Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
